Tuesday, November 1, 2011


My brother-in-law, Shaun, had 3 scooters. He gave me one. It was awesome.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Breaking the law.

Steve Buscemi, Mini-me, and the dad from the sitcom Step by Step were all mobsters. We were eating breakfast together and talking about how to knock off a casino. They were all very professional.

Summer camp

I attended a summer camp, but it ended up being an entire town of people at this camp. One day we all decided to take swimming lessons. We all jumped into the lake and started swimming. It turned into a 1.5 mile swim. Apparently, everyone knew how to swim.

Monday, September 19, 2011


We were at a family party and my mom had rabies. She was acting totally fine, other than foaming at the mouth. I tried to tell her that rabies were a very serious matter and not be messed with, but she would not have it. I tried to convince her that we needed to go to the hospital as soon as possible, but she was way too concerned about the dinner party.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bill Pullman's dog, Charles.

Jessica and I were on vacation, while Kellie stayed at our regular home. Our house on a plantation in Georgia. While we were gone, Bill Pullman brought his family and pets to our house for a party. His family left the party and purposely left their Corgi at our house. His name was Charles. When we got back from vacation, I was furious. I marched over to Bill Pullman's house, because we lived very close to each other, and started to give him a piece of my mind. I remember I said his name many times and I was very upset.

"BILL, you can't leave your dog at my house, BILL. Seriously, BILL you need some responsibility in your life, BILL! BILL?! Are you listening to me, BILL??! Are you, BILL? CLEAN UP YOUR ACT AND FIGURE OUT YOUR LIFE! You hear me, BILL?? Do you? Do you, BILL??? ( while all this is going on, I'm thinking to myself....Jess and I could totally have another dog. I actually like Bill's dog) DID YOU HEAR ME BILL?? FIGURE OUT YOUR LIFE......BILL!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Canadian X-Men

Caleb and Amanda were visiting us, and we all wanted to go to a special dinner where we had the chance to meet the cast of the new X-Men movie. I called in to get the tickets and after being on hold for 30 minutes the operator and I finally started talking about the tickets.

Operator: Oh, you are just going to love this dinner and the chance to meet the cast

Me: I am VERY excited about this. We just saw the movie and loved it.

Operator: The canadian one? Or was it the American version?

Me: What?

Operator: Well, the tickets you just purchased are for a dinner with the cast of the Canadian version of X-Men. All the cast members did such a wonderful job. Canada just loved the film.

End Nightmare.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Mattress Airplane

I was riding on the front of an airplane, because the nose of the airplane had a mattress attached. We flew through an entire city and landed on the 50 yard line of a football stadium during the super bowl. Packers vs. Cowboys. The Cowboys were losing and their coach made 6 of them get on the mattress. The GB coach made 3 GB players get on the plane too. He was sick of their playing and they weren't "pulling their weight". The plane started to take off and I headed inside. Once inside I went to the back of the plane because it had a casino/buffet. While I was getting my food a nice man in a wheelchair told me how great the salisbury steak tastes.

Friday, July 29, 2011

17 dollars.

I had 17 dollars in my wallet. A ten dollar bill and seven one dollars bills. When I woke up, I rushed over to my wallet. Definitely a dream......

Monday, July 18, 2011

Two of them.

We were traveling in northern MN on a moving house. The house had no walls or ceiling. We stopped in the middle of the woods by Brainerd in order to drop my Grandmother off, and all of the sudden there was a possum. At first the possum was very nice and curious, lots of cuddling. Then it turned on us because I kept pushing it off my shoulders. It started moving faster and jumping at us. I found a juggling club, and I used it as a weapon to defend everyone from the little monster. I woke up just as someone yelled "There's two of them!".

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


The Mythbuster guys were my new dentist, and I was excited.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Punch Fest

My supervisor, at work, punched a co-worker and then I stepped in and he punched me. I punched him back, and we tried to explain to my manager that they were nice punches. The kind we punched in college. It didn't work. I was written up, and the whole time I kept thinking "This is going to be on permanent record.".

Wednesday, June 29, 2011


Someone created a drug that turns people into zombies. Some friends wanted to try it on their neighbors. I had to convince them that crazy neighbors are WAY better than zombies.

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Musical

I woke up and the only thing I could remember was the theme song of my dream. The lyrics were "Wouldn't you like to hug a sheep?" Maybe I'll sing it for you sometime.

Sunday, June 26, 2011


My entire family was getting ready to go to my uncle Lynn's cabin. Uncle Lynn and my cousin, Nathan, were searching through their movies and found The Two Towers. Both Lynn and Nathan were perplexed and slightly bothered that they actually owned this movie. THEN my dad chimes in..."It's an epic battle for middle-earth, why wouldn't you like it?"

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

3 dream night

- Neil Patrick Harris bought everyone in the US a copy of 99 Red Balloons. Not the original song, but the cover by Goldfinger. He drummed along and lip synced while everyone watched him on TV.

-Marvel was re-filming Thor to add extra "teen" jokes.

-Jessica refused to kiss me in the morning. She said "not with that breath"

Monday, June 13, 2011

July 12, 2010

Dreamed that I was in Australia. Everyone lived in trees, like the lost boys in the movie Hook. I had to walk across a rope bridge while a giant wave of water crashed against it. Not scary. Awesome.

5 of us had to share a bed.

My friend, Caleb, had a girlfriend while Amanda (his wife) was away, but this was totally culturally acceptable.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

July 10, 2010

I was in a huge beef jerky store, and I had my pick of anything.