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Soothe The Hulk

I was tip toeing through the city and I saw The Incredible Hulk sleeping on a huge slab of concrete. I tried not to wake him up, but he started stirring. I ran with all my might and he plowed through several buildings. Finally I turned around and yelled "Calm down!" He turned back into Bruce Banner, but it was short lived and then he started breaking down even more buildings. Dude was mad.

Middle of the night dream notes

Jimmy, Alec, and Me.

I had a dream where Jimmy Fallon, Alec Baldwin, and I were hanging out. Jimmy was drunk because someone thought he was celebrating 60 years on TV, so he asked to hang out with him and eat dinner. I drank wine, and since Alec doesn’t drink he was in a super foul mood.

What a freakin' hipster

Last night I dreamed that this guy and I were at a Salvation Army and they had a ton of Nintendo games for $5. They had Halo for SNES. AND they had the original Star Wars game in the box for $5, but the dude snatched it up before I could grab it. Then he said “well, I've got to go. I’m headed to Bedford.” And I said “what’s in Bedford?” He said there was this neighborhood that was still perfectly captured in the year 1996. “It’s like all these houses were made in 1996 and preserved perfectly. It’s so 90s” and I kept thinking “what a freakin’ hipster”.

Weekend dream part 1

We were at a state fair. We as in Jessica, Max, Matt, and Justin. At this fair they had zip line that was located thousands of feet in the air (although I kept saying kilometers in my dream). The only way to get to the zip line was take a small little airplanes that drops you onto a platform. I for some reason did not want to do the zip line, but Justin and my brother were ALL about doing the zip line. My other cousin Russell flew the plane to take Justin and Matt up there. Justin was also VERY insistent that Max would ride on his back for the zip line. Both Jess and I said it was totally fine and we trusted him. He took Max to the zip line and they rode it just fine. Max loved it! He held onto his back like he was a little monkey! no safety belts or straps.

After everyone finished there was a locker where everyone that did the zip line hung out in, and there was also a space where people could hang out if they chickened out. Everyone was telling their story about how it went. Then Batman and Robin came in. Everyone turned and said "did you guys do the zip line too??" They responded all tough and said "of course we did."

Weekend dream part 2

Totally different night over the weekend, I dreamed that a bunch of people lived on the floor of a building. Kind of like a college dorm room. In the center of the building lived a woman that owned Hell Hounds. She would release them nightly in preparation for the coming apocalypse, and the hounds would eat people. The only way they would eat someone is if they the people had eaten some of the green pellets that the lady left laying around. If someone got curious, and ate a pellet, the hell hounds would eat them that night. I basically spent the entire dream yelling at people. Telling them not to eat the green pellets because they would die and they were helping her unleash the apocalypse. I think I was the only that could actually see the Hell Hounds.

This was definitely more nightmarish than fun.

Canning Garage

our lot had a 2nd garage on it. The 2nd garage was filled with stuff including old canned vegetables. Beets, onions, pickles, etc. in the back corner of the garage there was a door that had steps that led down to who knows where?! When I opened that door a mountain lion flew out, but I wasn't afraid and I treated it more like a pet dog, it was super friendly towards me. My family and I went down the stairs, and I came across a fully furnished apartment with a gas fireplace that had a fire going. There was a divorced man that lived with his daughter in the apartment and I talked to the man for a little while. As I was I talking I realized that I bought the garage when we bought the house, and I kept thinking...do I own this apartment?! Am I paying this guy's bills?? When I asked the guy he said "don't worry about it. It's covered." So my family and I left and went back up to the garage. When I got back to my yard there was a HUGE birthday party for me catered by this sausage company. I waited in line for a really long time talking to people, thinking about how I may actually own that apartment. When I finally got to the head of the line.....they ran out of food! POOF I woke up.

*illustration by the very talented Justin Hilden www.justinhilden.com*

The Peeping Ozzy

Pizza Delivery

I had friends over and we ordered some pizza.  When the pizza came it was delivered by Zachary Quinto and he was wearing a dominos velvet sweatsuit. We chatted for a while about our lives and kids. During the conversation my old neighbor kept popping up and asking me for stuff that we had borrowed from them. I grabbed my order of pizza....which was 2 large pizzas (pepperoni and cheese) and an order of cheesy bread for 9.99. Good deal. Goooood deal. As Zachary Quinto left I shouted "Can't wait for Star Trek!" Then I gave my neighbor's Panini maker back.

Cat eels

I was swimming in a lake with a bunch of eels. When I pulled one of the eels out of the water it had a furry body, the head of a black cat, and bright yellow cat eyes. Super comforting.

Hot Dogs

Someone offered me a hot dog. I had a list of demands for that hot dog.

1. It needed to be Russian

2. It needed to be vegan

Pesky Little Devils

A group of very important people came into work, and I called them "Pesky Little Devils". Later on I had to apologize big time.

Back alley fried foods!

A friend and I walked into an alley of minneapolis, pushed our grocery cart up a ramp and went into a little tiny store. We bought a bunch of fried food. It was tasty.

"Bears use iPad" also titled "Yet another dream with Caleb and Amanda"

We took our friends, Caleb and Amanda, to our cabin. Two bears charged at us. I was freaking out but Caleb had a cool head about it.

Caleb (while holding his iPad): Dave, don't move. Just act normal.

As we acted normal, the bears became too comfortable. They started using Caleb's iPad, and followed us into the cabin. The bears then slep our couches, and used Max's baby blanket.

That is the last time I listen to Caleb.

Chocolate Lab Whale!

We were on a cruise ship, and I went out on the deck to check out the whales. As looked in the water, one of the whales came up to the surface. The whale peered out of the water and noticed that the whale was really a chocolate lab with the tail of a whale.

Fighting Pumas

Oops